The Emotional Seasons of Childhood

And how Understanding Them Changes Everything

If someone had told me, back when my child was little, that raising a child wasn’t one straight road but a serious of emotional seasons we’d move through together.

I don’t think I would’ve understood what they meant.

"But now, after years of watching children grow - and parents grow with them - I know two things for sure:"

1. Every child moves through emotional seasons.

2. Every parent gets lost in at least one of them.

This isn’t a clinical model. It’s a lived one, built from late nights, early mornings, small victories, and the quiet moments where you wonder:

“Am I doing any of this right?”

What follows is a roadmap I wish I had earlier. Not to perfect parenting but to understand the emotional world our kids move through, so we can guide them with more clarity, calm, and confidence.

Let’s walk through the seasons.

0 to 7: The Years That Build the Frame

If childhood was a house, these early years would be the foundation and the frame - messy, raw, unfiltered, and profoundly important.

This is the season where a child’s nervous system is silently asking

“Am I safe when I’m me?”

They don’t ask it with words. They ask it through:

• clinging

• crying

• wandering

• meltdowns

• watching you closely

• copying your tone

• reaching for you in fear and seeking you in joy

  
  

"These years taught me the greatest parenting truth."

Children don’t remember events. They remember feelings.

The softness of your voice. The calm in your presence. The comfort of being held. The return to safety after overwhelm.

These early experiences become the emotional blueprint that shapes their confidence, identity, and resilience in the years to come.

7 to 10: The Awareness Years

Around seven, awareness awakens.

Their eyes sharpen. Their curiosity deepens. And without realising it, they begin measuring themselves.

“Am I good at this?” “Why is he better?” “Do people like me?” “What if I fail?”

This is the stage where self-talk begins. Where identity seeds are planted. Where parents influence confidence more with tone than with instruction.

One small comment can lift them for days. One careless sentence can echo for weeks.

The magic of this season is that small win’s matter enormously.

Capability grows through tiny moments of success and consistent encouragement lands deeper than we think.

Your role here isn’t to push. It’s to guide, support, and help them see their own potential.

10 to 13: The Storm Before the Shift

No one warns you about this season.

One day they’re steady. The next, something changes - not behaviourally, but emotionally, biologically, neurologically.

This is the season of intense inner expansion.

They feel more. They think more. They question more. And often, they carry pressure silently, because they can’t yet explain it.

You’ll see:

• withdrawal

• frustration

• hesitation

• emotional overload

• a sudden sensitivity that wasn’t there before

  
  

This season taught me that my calm became their anchor.

The way I responded shaped the way they learned to respond to themselves.

Get this season right, and you soften the path into the teenage years.

13 to 16: The Identity Forge

This is the most fragile and formative season the season where identity is forged under the weight of new emotions, new expectations, and new pressures.

Your teen won’t always tell you what they’re thinking. But they feel everything.

• belonging

• rejection

• fear

• comparison

• pressure to “be someone”

• uncertainty about who that someone is

This is the season where confidence can be built or broken.

Teens don’t need rescuing. They need anchors.

• boundaries that don’t suffocate

• permission to speak

• space to think

• emotional safety

• a calm parent who doesn’t take their storms personally

This is the season where identity can bloom if guided with understanding, not force.

17 to 20: The Becoming

This is the season no one prepares you for.

They look independent, but inside, they’re full of questions.

“What’s next?” “What if I’m not ready?” “Where do I belong?” “Am I failing" “Who am I becoming?”

This stage requires a new style of parenting - not directing, not controlling but guiding, partnering, and coaching.

This is where they learn self-leadership and where your emotional steadiness becomes their model for adulthood.

What makes this Season Matter

Once you understand the emotional season your child is in.

You stop reacting to surface behaviours and begin responding to the need’s underneath them.

When that happens?

Your communication strengthens. Your confidence as a parent soars. And your child’s path becomes clearer.

The reason You Need to Know the Season You’re In.

Is Because as a parent, you can only guide your child from where you currently stand.

When you know the season they’re in - and the one you’re in, you gain the clarity to support them in a way that actually assists them.

But before you can lead them forward, you need to understand your own patterns, reactions, and unconscious responses, so you’re not parenting from old habits, but from conscious awareness.

If You’d Like Support on This Journey

For Parents

Parent Mindset Coaching Learn how to stay grounded, emotionally regulated, and prepared for every season your child will move through.

For Teens

Teen Identity & Confidence Coaching For capable teenagers who want tools, direction, confidence, and a stronger sense of who they are.

Closing Thought

Every child is moving through their own emotional seasons. Some early. Some late. Some differently.

But all of them growing.

And the more clearly you see the season they’re in, the more powerfully you can show up in the season they need.