The Moment I Realised My Parenting Was Running on Autopilot and What Happened When I Consciously Tuned in.

There’s a moment in every parent’s life where something quietly clicks. A sentence, a look, a pattern you suddenly see, that you never noticed before.

For me, it happened in the middle of an ordinary day.

My son was struggling with getting ready to go out. When I felt frustration rising. Not anger, just that internal pressure that makes you want to say, “what is taking so long?”

But for some reason, instead of reacting, I paused.

And in that moment, a thought landed that changed everything I knew about myself as a parent:

“You’re not choosing this reaction, you’re repeating it.”

Later in the day, I came across an article where (Bruce Lipton) highlights that the conscious mind is only active 5% of the time, and the rest is controlled by Unconscious programming.

This had me thinking about.

My reactions? My tone? My stress responses? The way I interpreted my son’s behaviour?

Most of it wasn’t conscious, it was old programming running the show.

Patterns from my childhood. Patterns I picked up without realising. Patterns shaped by experiences, not intention.

But here’s the part that I now believe:

Once something becomes conscious, it becomes changeable. Even if you only catch one moment.

So I tried one thing.

The next time my son struggled, instead of reverting to ,“What's taking so long?” I asked: “What do you need right now? How can I help?”

It shifted everything. Not just his response, but my entire state. My whole house felt different.

And I realised something:

You don’t have to rewrite the 95%. You just have to catch one moment where you choose differently.

One breath. One pause. One new question.

That’s enough to soften the atmosphere of your home. To bring your child closer instead of pushing them away. To change the emotional energy your family experiences.

Because parenting isn’t about perfection, it’s about awareness.

And once you see a pattern, you can’t un see it. You can only grow from it.

This is what this ride is really about for me, learning to notice the unconscious, change the patterns we inherited, and build a family environment where our kids feel understood, supported, and safe to grow at their own pace.